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A Spiritual Autobiography of a New Driver's Ongoing Journey

“You know the old saying: Be careful what you pray for?” Joshua said, smiling; then added, “Hannah, I can’t speak for others; but I don’t see you as a flake or a headbanger. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re a seeker and that you learn from your mistakes. But occasionally I do see you as … it’s not the sum total of who you are or anything … but sometimes, you remind me of a new driver.”

“What?”

“You know how new drivers overcorrect? It’s like they just can’t slightly correct the course of their car and then trust the process, so they turn the wheel really hard one way and go too far in that direction; then they turn hard the other way. They get locked into repeating the pattern over and over again, just to keep the car on the road. Even when they have moments of smooth driving they’re looking intensely at the road for potential corrections or over corrections, as it were, that might be needed. It’s like they can’t just relax and enjoy the ride.” Josh was still smiling, but I knew that he wasn’t entirely joking.

“Is that how you see me? When I learn a lesson and want to correct my course, I slam all over the place? Wow, and all this time I thought I was just really vigilant,” I said.

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